Gravity
by Ellethwen
Summary: “The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.” Annabeth's personal struggle of choice.


**Gravity**

"_The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down." Annabeth's personal struggle of choice._

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Nor do I own the song_ Gravity_. You might have more luck with Rick Riordan and Sara Bareilles.

**Author's Notes: **The songfic was the style of my first fanfiction, but I haven't used it since. However, upon listening to this song, Percabeth clicked. So I'll try the songfic again, and I'll try real, true romance for the first time. Enjoy! Also, I'll put in some shameless self-promotion here for Crescent Light, the PJatO encyclopaedia and fanlisting I've set up: crescentlight.. It's nowhere NEAR finished, but please stop by!

_Something always brings me back to you _

_It never takes too long_

_No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here _

_'til the moment I'm gone_

Shaded by the sunlight, Annabeth Chase frowned as she stared to the east, from the steps outside her home. The sky was deepening there, purples coalescing into blues, then finally, darkness, while the flower of the setting Sun to her back colored the west in brilliant bursts of orange and red.

A whole year had turned since that time. And now, in the winter, Annabeth strained to see what it was like in that place. Was it snowing? Was it cold? It wasn't all that cold in San Francisco.

But New York was different. It always had been.

How old was he now? 15. The deadline was so close. But not that it mattered...all was going to end. She might as well have been riding a unicycle down the street, singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and setting off fireworks. It would feel a lot better than waiting for the end.

Annabeth could tell he was still alive. She felt it so deeply. And she always would.

_You hold me without touch _

_You keep me without chains_

_I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love _

_And not feel your rain_

Tapping her fingers, Annabeth could easily count all the times she'd been blind to the hints that this would would happen. But she buried that intuition so deep down because of her feelings. What a shame. The daughter of Athena decided to completely ignore the other half of wisdom because of what she perceived as freedom.

He had always been a strange boy. And remarkable, too. But he noticed too much. Too much was a problem. And he would let his imagination run off, to some unknown wilderness where the sea was always a moment away and the leaves whispered the secrets of the world. And where suspicions could fester into dangerous ideas.

That was what had happened. He turned moody, indecisive, angry. He lashed out at everyone—Grover, Chiron, even Mr. D. It began to be depressing just to be with him, and yet she still sought him out.

Until that day, when she found herself at the end of his blade, the blood-red Sun glinting angrily on its surface.

Annabeth shut her eyes tight, the scene repeating itself like a movie, while she was only a distant observer.

"_What are you doing?!"_

"_Don't you see, Annabeth? You can't win. We can't win. Why not just be defeated?"_

"_So you're saying you'd rather be on the side of Kronos?"_

"_Who said I was on Kronos' side? I'm on my own side. Unless you decide to join me. I wish you would."_

"_Wish I would join your side? What is your side, if you're against Kronos and the Olympians?"_

"_So you're seeing the world in black and white. I'm against both, because both sides make this world a terrible place. I'd rather they all were gone. Do you see now?_

"_I...I can't. No. This isn't happening."_

"No..."

_Set me free, leave me be _

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be_

_But you're onto me and all over me_

Why did she let herself be captured like that? At first, she had tagged after him for selfish reasons. She wanted to get out of camp. But for some reason, Annabeth stuck with him, continually, until she finally realized that the selfishness had blossomed into love.

It wasn't like she'd _wanted _to. And she still didn't want to. Their parents weren't even friends. It was backwards, utterly backwards.

A daughter of Athena was supposed to be strong, and wise, and a trusted leader.

A daughter of Athena was what Annabeth was supposed to be. And yet, she wasn't. She wasn't. Because of what she desired and, at the same time, despised.

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile _

_When I thought that I was strong _

_But you touch me for a little while _

_And all my fragile strength is gone_

Strength had failed Annabeth at the most critical time, and wisdom, too. It had all failed, fading into the grass and turning gray. What an illusion she had played in her own mind, like a marionette to her own fantasy.

It was strange, how one person—just one person—could ruin it all. And it had been the worst with him. Oh gods, it was even worse than Luke.

Annabeth blinked, trying to force his image out of her mind. She couldn't think like this anymore. No more.

_Set me free, leave me be _

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be_

_But you're onto me and all over me_

She still didn't want it. It had been so hard, having to go back to camp and tell everyone that their only hope had jaunted off, not to the other side, but to his _own_ side. That he had even threatened to kill his best friend, whom he had claimed to love the week before.

And after that, Annabeth had thrown herself furiously into routine. She read any book she could get her hands on, spent long hours at the archery range, and battered the training dummies to bits with her swords. She could drown her own heartache in the twirls and the thinking.

But at night, the ceiling of Cabin 6 would collapse in, and Annabeth would be left alone with her thoughts and memories. During these sleepless nights, she tried to convince herself that she was better of without him.

_Who cares about him? He requires to be near water to fight, he's only good with a sword, he's slow and he's pig-headed and he's too ready to fight..._

Hiding the grief had been easy. A smile, a witty comment, it was all second nature. After all, Annabeth had spent a lifetime of acting, of locking away her real self. So nobody knew what "Wise Girl" really thought—how she cursed her own lack of knowledge.

_I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're _

_Everything I think I need here on the ground_

_But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go_

_The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down_

_But you're onto me and all over me_

After the blistering summer disappeared in a puff of of leaves, Annabeth headed back to San Francisco, to the rhythms of home and family and the light on the bay. She went to school, talked to friends, tried her best to keep up.

Annabeth tried several times to contact him to try and get him to come back. He never replied. He was just—arbitrary. He didn't attack the half-bloods and their allies, but he didn't attack Kronos' army. It was like he'd melted into the sea of nameless faces that swarmed the streets.

Summer arrived in a blaze of heat and wind, and it was back to camp. It was getting harder to keep up the facade. Whispers began to swirl. What had happened to Annabeth Chase while she was at home?

But she managed to pull through. Then the seasons turned, and here she was again, on the steps of her house, staring off into the east, wondering and waiting.

_Something always brings me back to you_

_It never takes too long_

Percy Jackson had pulled the sword, and Percy Jackson had left.

And Annabeth Chase still wanted him, but didn't.


End file.
